Acne Affected My Confidence

How Acne Affected My Confidence And How I Overcame It

I guess it all really began when I was around 17 years old… I remember taking my makeup off at college because it was the day we were learning how to do facials. As you guys already know, I studied to be a beautician for 2 years. I was super excited to be learning about skincare (little did I know then, that it would not only become a huge passion of mine, but also the thing that I was going to struggle with for a long while!) At the time, it really wasn’t a big deal for me to take my makeup off. I didn’t have any confidence issues with my skin and all of my ‘friends’ were taking theirs off to, so it’s all good, right? Wrong! The next moment is the begin to my journey of how acne affected my confidence.

I remember this next moment like it was yesterday, I’ll never forget the way it made me feel, what it made me think and it could quite possibly have been the beginning of how acne affected my confidence. One of my older ‘friends’ in the class said to me, “Oh my god! You look so different without makeup! I didn’t realise you had so many spots, your foundation must be so good”.

I was so shocked, not only for my ‘friend’ to say this in front of approximately twenty other girls. But that it made me feel unbelievably self-conscious about my skin. I’d never felt like that before! Now, I don’t think she meant to maliciously offend me, I think she just said what she thought out loud, she was that kind of girl.

I’m not saying that was the start of my lack of confidence in my skin, I mean maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. But that moment sticks with me and I feel like that is when I really started to over analyze myself.

I hope you guys have a cup of tea ready, this is going to be a long post! If not, pause here and stick the kettle on. You’ll thank me later! Also, I’ll have two sugars please hun! I really want this post to help anyone who has suffered or who is suffering from confidence issues with their skin. Whether it be acne or any other skin conditions. This is my journey on how acne affected my confidence and I hope you can all take something away from it.

The following year after that incident, I became obsessed with my skin. I didn’t want anyone to see me without makeup, not even my best friends. In fact, it got so bad that when we had girly nights in, I would sleep in my makeup (EEEEEKKK future me cringes at past me) and say “I forgot to take it off” just so they didn’t see it. Looking back 1. My friends are amazing and would never have judged me. 2. My skin wasn’t even that bad… But to me, it was the worst thing in the world, no matter what anyone said!

The one person I completely shared this experience with was my mum. I always took my makeup off at home to let my skin breathe. Mum would sit with me and tell me it really wasn’t a big deal and that I was being silly. To be honest, she was 100% right. But it’s crazy how much my acne affected my confidence, so at that moment, it didn’t matter what the people you love think, the mirror was saying something completely different. I guess lots of people can relate to that. Whether it’s your skin, your weight, your hair etc. Sometimes we are blinded by our negative thoughts.

So, as I’m sure you have guessed, I would never leave the house without makeup, that would have been my WORST nightmare. I actually did have nightmares about leaving the house and forgetting to put makeup on. (Most people have that dream about forgetting to put their trousers on, nope not me, mine was makeup!)

As you may have read in my Combatting Acne Prone Skin blog post, I visited the doctors several times in tears about my skin and how it made me feel. I never really felt like they understood how acne affected my confidence. They always said “stop wearing makeup” which for me was an absolutely ridiculous thing to say. I did end up taking antibiotics and several other medications to help clear my skin. But in all honesty, I don’t think that was ever going to be the answer.

If I would have accomplished that ‘flawless Instagram worthy’ complexion, would I have been happy? Or would I have found something else to pick at? As you have probably gathered from the way I’m writing this section, no my skin isn’t flawless now. I can honestly and somewhat shockingly sit here and say, I’m not fazed by that now. 17 year old me is probably sitting there laughing. “Come on Rox, don’t kid yourself”. I never dreamt of feeling like I do now, no doctors, family member or friends could ever have made this happen.

This was down to me and my mentality. I can’t sit here and give you the answers on how I made those feelings go away. There is no automatic cure (I really wish there was) and everyone’s journey is different. But boy, when you get there, it is the most unreal feeling. You can catch me now, doing my weekly shop without a speck of makeup on, completely comfortable in my own skin. If anyone says I look different without makeup on? My response is “I know hun, I didn’t spend £20 on that foundation for nothing!!” I guess you could say I grew out of that mindset I had. This is me and if I don’t love myself, who will? (Apart from you Mum, you are and were always my biggest fan, with or without makeup!)

If you are reading this and are having similar feelings. Hang in there, girl! You got this!

I promise this feeling will not last forever and you have to break through it, in whatever way you can. I honestly think the moment I learnt to love myself was when everything changed. My skin has definitely improved, but if I really wanted to, I could dash to the mirror now and pick out tons of things I don’t like. But why not dash to that mirror and point out those things you love!!! That is the beginning of the end, in fact, put that cup of tea down right now, go to the mirror and tell yourself three things you love about yourself.

Don’t forget to come back and leave me a comment letting me know what those things were! I’d love to chat with you guys about this. It is a subject that is so close to my heart. I want to end this post by telling you, you are beautiful, no matter what. I really hope my story about how acne affected my confidence has helped you in some way. Before I pop off to the mirror to tell myself three things I love about myself, I’d like to thank my incredible mum for being an absolute rock while I went through that part of my life. I love you always!

Lots of Love…

Roxanne x

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  • Reply
    Rebecca Hudson
    February 11, 2018 at 7:38 pm

    What a great post, it’s amazing how open you’ve been and I’m sure this will help a lot of girls who read this. I have also suffered with skin problems all my life but mine was eczema so affected my body but I was so self conscious about it!

    It’s good to speak about it and you’re beaut so keep on being you ?

    • Reply
      February 12, 2018 at 8:22 am

      Thank you so much, Rebecca!
      That is exactly what I hope for, I’d love this to help anyone with self-confidence issues.
      I don’t think people realise how much of a big deal it is to go through something like that.
      I hope your eczema has cleared or you’re rocking it! 🙂

      Roxanne xx

  • Reply
    Rodaliz Dela Cruz
    February 13, 2018 at 11:58 pm

    I love this blog..❤❤❤

    • Reply
      February 16, 2018 at 10:58 pm

      Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it, I loved writing this post.

      Roxanne x

  • Reply
    February 21, 2018 at 4:59 pm

    I enjoyed reading this and love your honestly which is so refreshing! This is going to help a lot of people suffering the same way which is great! You’re beautiful sweetie, inside and out ❤️❤️

    • Reply
      February 22, 2018 at 10:57 pm

      Thank you so much lovely! I really enjoyed writing about something that I’m so passionate about.
      I really do hope it helps as many people as possible.

      Roxanne x

  • Reply
    February 23, 2018 at 2:15 pm

    Oh I feel you so much on this one. I had severe cystic acne for years and now I’ve suddenly developed eczema on my face, the anxiety and feelings are coming back up, just when I had found confidence in my skin. It’s rubbish because it’s right on your face and people can be so insensitive. I’m so glad you’ve managed to find confidence and I hope you have distanced yourself from that girl, I hate it when women put another woman down, we need to be bringing eachother up!!

    • Reply
      February 25, 2018 at 9:00 pm

      Hi Charlotte,
      Oh hun, I know exactly how you feel! People can be very insensitive but that’s their insecurities.
      Don’t let them bother you hun, your skin doesn’t define you! You will 100% find your confidence again!

      What products are you using at the moment? If you’d like a recommendation of skincare products, I would say try Dermalogica Ultracalming range. It is brilliant for Eczema.

      Roxanne x

  • Reply
    March 3, 2018 at 11:35 pm

    I love this! I have struggled (and still am) with acne for years now, and something similar happened to me. My skin never fazed me, yes I had ‘acne’ but I never really thought about it. Sometimes I wore makeup, sometimes I didn’t. But one day I had to go to the doctor for some injections or whatever, and the doctor said, and I quote “oh your skin is quite bad isn’t it, would you like something to help with your acne?” I’m sure she meant well, but since that day I always wore makeup, and became extremely self conscious of my skin. Luckily, like you I grew out of that and I am back to wearing or not wearing makeup and not caring, but my mum was always by my side too and for that I am forever grateful! xx

    • Reply
      March 4, 2018 at 8:27 pm

      Oh wow Zoe! That is quite shocking that she said that to you but I guess people don’t realise unless they have been through it! I’m so glad you found the strength and have come out the other side. It is such an amazing feeling, you almost feel free, don’t you? Thanks for sharing your experience with me 🙂

      Roxanne x

  • Reply
    March 21, 2018 at 1:22 pm

    I can relate to this so much! I’m so self conscious of my skin and it’s the main reason I hide behind makeup. It’s shocking how just one persons comment on it can affect you, it’s happened to me too! I hope I can get out of this rut soon as it’s been over 5 years for me. Glad that you could overcome it though, this was refreshing and inspiring to read.

    Cally x

    • Reply
      March 21, 2018 at 11:25 pm

      Cally, I know that exact feeling! Hiding behind makeup was exactly what I did for a long time.
      I would say the best thing you can do, is GO FOR IT! Start off with a ‘no makeup day’ and run a few errands. It super scary at first but it slowly becomes the norm and that might just break the pattern for you.

      Let me know how you get on hun.
      Roxanne x

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